This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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