who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
