So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
