Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
