i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
