I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
