if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
