sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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