are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
