I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
