Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Ketchup is God's man juice
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
