pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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