Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
