i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
