Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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