I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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