Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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