We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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