No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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