i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
