I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
