waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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