mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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