When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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