She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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