i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
