And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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