I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
