Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
