Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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