He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
