yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
