I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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