he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
