Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
