i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
