p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize