piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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