weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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