i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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