my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
