the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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