Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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