Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
