So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
