You work out of a Hotel?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
