Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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