I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
