doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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