Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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