we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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