How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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