Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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