I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
