It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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