So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
