actually, I'm a sock model
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
