He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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