And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
