when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude. I can hear the air.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
